wtf why am i so emo..

december’s here.. darn fast.. too emo aint good.. but too sane is also not good too.. just dont drive me insane..

learn more bout me..

The more you know me sometimes.. aren’t the best things around.. perhaps you’ll hate me even more..
when i felt people around me are complicated.. perhaps im even more so..
this emotional impalement is even more torturous than any physical hurt i can ever felt..
perhaps im not meant to be here after all.. do i?

kj..

simple..

it’s been a long time since i know the meaning of being simple.. but sometimes.. it’s being too simple that makes it complicated.. at least for me.. i guess.. there are so many confusion in time for me that sometimes.. i trapped in times of doubts that undoubtedly messes with my flow of what’s present and past.. it’s this time of the year again and it seems that.. its quite identical in some ways to last year.. but yet.. brought back a lot of memories that should and shouldn’t be forgotten..

Passion?
Too much of passion.. yet too little outcome? i think so.. yet therefore.. finding a way out of my overwhelming non productive passion.. but recently.. thanks to a friend of mine.. been able to worked out a lot of my things thru a 30 inch apple cinema LCD + a full blast custom spec MacPro.. therefore the reborn of thisiskj.com photoblog.. yet.. times are getting harder and just been juggling a lot of things lately..

it’s december in a few days time.. what would really really improve my year is for me to kena lottery and win big.. not that im money minded.. but at some point it’s the fact the world even the tiniest things around revolved around in matter of kupangs.. no more sens d.. it’s vanished from bank negara.. but well.. WORK LIKE SHIET.. is the magic? well.. definitely there isn’t a simple way out..

how simple can things be anyhow?
but to think of it.. do i complicate things around me..
or do i looked at things a little too simple?
or im actually simple but looked at things a lil too complicated already?

as this song plays in my head.. i remember back the whole meaning of this whole song all over again.. there was a point of time i totally forgot the meaning of this song.. and it’s just exactly last 20th november when i totally forgot the whole meaning of this song that i manage to get a few person to like the song including one particular person i shared with to love this song.. it totally a sing along song for the longest time for us all.. and now.. it totally bring this song to a whole new meaning to me all over again when i told them this is the only mandarin song i can really sing from the start till the end..

Here’s the song

im amazed how long i’ve been liking this song.. and it’s the only song i can communicate with my friends in shanghai in mandarin as well.. haha.. it’s miraculous.. yet.. all those sing-alongs.. i cant forget those times at all.. even if i’ve been given a choice.. i wont want to forget those moments.. few sheer moments that i have with this sentimental mind can recall..
enjoy the song..
wish i can turn back time..
finishing this post at 6:30am.. now going out for madness again at this time.. see ya all..

My current repeat forever song obsessesion..

Khalil Fong.. exceptional singer with a twist to his awesome voice..

Time..

time
some say it heals
but think carefully..
it’s actually a timed bomb..
that will prove it’s wrath with inconsiderable for what human may wait,
it’s just a dead end ahead.. for we’re timed as each step we take..
it’s unpredictable..

for now.. i’m inferior towards an entity beyond control..
only the mighty one that overlook us is able to with just a twink of his eye..
nothing physical can stop.. you can only deceive yourself if you ever turn your clock back time..

Love keep me alive? indeed.. and it kills me too.. and affection.. i wouldn’t even be here with you..
it kills me just the thought of it keeps me waiting..
patience indeed is a virtue..
but when it backfires..
would patience be a vice?

thoughts ventured into death..
but death can only be one..
that through you..
i can only reach heaven..
.
lead me..
..
shape me..
…
change me..
….
teach me..
…..
for there’s none like you..
……
complicated yet it seems so clear..
If i open my heart, it seems so clear..
if i open up my heart, it be so near to me..
i believe in you..

for my patience has only limit for one.. an eternal love..

sigh..

colours

is what i need to add to my life now..

While I’m Waiting..

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

“John Waller – While I’m Waiting”

Life can be as mundane as it’s much as tough.. and this song.. i guess sparks more insight on the word on being patient.. I don’t fancy any fame.. just love.. is all i hunger for..

I Love You..

Here i am..

so much to spill.. but so little time to do so..

so many people around.. but the important ones in life arent appearing much..

heart’s broken.. soul bounded.. spirit lives free..

only to find..

God’s guidance in the end of the road..

sometimes all u’ve wished for isn’t as easy as it seems to be.. especially just in living a life and be a part of surviving world that life brought to us..

so much of hatred going around.. so much of fighting.. even in the simplest thing you do somehow somewhere it’s unavoidable.. sometimes.. being as famous as u’re crowded by people around you.. but at times when you need most.. who understands you most? not any stranger.. but the ones furthest to you that with just the slightest sign of their presence brings tons of rainbows in us.. as cliche as it may be.. but to individuals of these special moments.. nothing seems to matters than just them themselves..

But nevertheless.. life isn’t just confined on a speck of negative.. thou these specks appear and reappear once in a while.. thou life sometimes seems to just filled with dirt.. sometimes these dirt appears like a black dot on a pure white paper.. and it reappears just the moment you wash it off.. but it’s totally unavoidable.. no matter how lucky u’re.. how wealthy you are.. or just how caution u’re.. they just keep coming back.. but the question here.. it’s just one speck out of the whole white paper.. why don’t look at life outside of the small speck of life..

it may take just a moment.. or some might take longer.. but individuality makes us unique right? and definitely each road is different..

but there’s one path i’m willing to pour everything i have.. and endlessly.. this path had shown me countless mercy alongside with times of grace and fiery hell suffering roads just for me to learn more..

and all these just to show myself that..

I’m not who i was..

I’ve been through that shoebox of pictures recently.. and this song came by to me again.. and replaying it just bring my inner fire to just lit up.. and consequent smiles of who i was.. and what life had brought me.. and what life has it now..

Sometimes it takes more than just yourself to bring out that courage in you..

thank you dear lord..
thank you mom and dad..
thank you people around me..
and also thank you for that special someone that possibly need some words of encouragement..
sometimes havin more isn’t as happy than just havin that niche curb of cheesecake you might find somewhere.. somehow..

i Love you.. is a single entity.. loving you all.. it’s contagious..

My Beautiful PhotoBlog!

first of all.. i’m sooo totally astound by MY VERY OWN BLOG! do u know why? BECAUSE first of all..
the first thing i log on to the internet i got this msg..

mizanne . says:
dont
look
yet

-=KJ=- Destiny is not a matter of fate.. but to me it’s a matter of Faith.. says:
HAHAHA

mizanne . says:
dont
see
ur
blog
yet
coz

-=KJ=- Destiny is not a matter of fate.. but to me it’s a matter of Faith.. says:
haha

mizanne . says:
i’m fixing something

-=KJ=- Destiny is not a matter of fate.. but to me it’s a matter of Faith.. says:
=P

mizanne . says:
OKIEE
hubby

http://thisiskj.blogspot.com

go see
=p

THEN WHOAAAAAAAA! =)
go see yourself..

Presenting..

The new..

ThisIsKJ Photoblog

http://thisiskj.blogspot.com

Click click click! =)
Soooo lurveee my dearie.. dardear.. dearling.. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =) Credits to Marianne! my gurl.. my woman! =P hehe

C&C please.. =) comments & critics la! =) hehe

when u got nothing better to do..

when u’re desperately bored n when u’re on a caffeine high.. and you r hungry but all u have is just Double Kaya Toast from Old Town Kopitiam.. this is what u do.. LoL

goodness.. take a look at her expression la.. LoLness..

Superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Cute.. LoL how can i not tempted to make these silleh things.. =P hehehe